Today was a great day! Why? Because I FINALLY have answers. Since 2011, I've felt like crap...to be quite honest. I know a lot of people who say they are tired all the time, and they have normal stressors in life like a tough job, kids, busy schedules, etc. I chalked up my lack of energy and feeling sluggish to these things as well. However, mine got progressively worse. There have been several days where I have fallen asleep behind the wheel of my car. I have 2 kids in the backseat. Holy cow. Praise Jesus for always keeping us safe.
So after months of blood work (12-14 tubes drawn at each appointment), today I was given a definitive diagnosis. Hashimoto's Disease. Hashi what? My dear friend asked if I was turning Asian. Haha! She said my nickname would be Moo Goo Gai Pan...but for short, she'll call me Moogy. I'm diggin' it!
Hashimoto's thyroiditis or chronic lymphocytic thyroiditis is an autoimmune disease in which the thyroid gland is attacked by a variety of cell- and antibody-mediated immune processes. It was the first disease to be recognized as an autoimmune disease.[1] It was first described by the Japanese specialist Hakaru Hashimoto in Germany in 1912.
Hashimoto's disease is a condition in which your immune system attacks your thyroid, a small gland at the base of your neck below your Adam's apple. The thyroid gland is part of your endocrine system, which produces hormones that coordinate many of your body's activities.
The resulting inflammation from Hashimoto's disease, also known as chronic lymphocytic thyroiditis, often leads to an underactive thyroid gland (hypothyroidism). Hashimoto's disease is the most common cause of hypothyroidism in the United States. It primarily affects middle-aged women but also can occur in men and women of any age and in children.
You might not notice signs or symptoms of Hashimoto's disease at first, or you may notice a swelling at the front of your throat (goiter). Hashimoto's disease typically progresses slowly over years and causes chronic thyroid damage, leading to a drop in thyroid hormone levels in your blood. The signs and symptoms are mainly those of an underactive thyroid gland (hypothyroidism).
Signs and symptoms of hypothyroidism include:
Fatigue and sluggishness
Increased sensitivity to cold
Constipation
Pale, dry skin
A puffy face
Hoarse voice
Unexplained weight gain — occurring infrequently and rarely exceeding 10 to 20 pounds, most of which is fluid
Muscle aches, tenderness and stiffness, especially in your shoulders and hips
Pain and stiffness in your joints and swelling in your knees or the small joints in your hands and feet
Muscle weakness, especially in your lower extremities
Excessive or prolonged menstrual bleeding (menorrhagia)
Depression
My endocrinologist did an ultrasound of my thyroid gland today and found mine to be, in her words, huge and diseased as seen in classic Hashimoto's. She said the ultrasound confirmed what she suspected with the lab results that came back on Monday. So, time to start Synthroid, a very commonly prescribed drug to replace TSH in my body. In addition to my thyroid issues, I also have a pituitary tumor. Your pituitary gland is located in your brain. Now, technically, that would make it a brain tumor. However, mine is a very common and very benign microadenoma...or teeny tiny tumor. Haha! More specifically mine tells my pituitary gland to produce prolactin which is the hormone found in breast milk. So, despite me not breastfeeding per doctor's orders, I still produce breast milk. I also don't have a cycle. In order to stop my pituitary gland from producing prolactin, my endo also prescribed Cabergoline to be taken twice a week on Mondays and Thursdays. I'm a little nervous about this med just due to the side effects...nausea, vomiting, dizziness, lowered blood pressure. So that's why they start you at a low dose and only twice a week. Prayers that my side effects will stay at bay are greatly appreciated. Answers are good! Now I know what to do to make me feel better. I can't wait to have energy again and not want to sleep all day and night. It's crazy how much I want to sleep. When I don't I can't focus at all which makes my ADD crazy. Maybe that will improve too! I'm also ready to work out and eat right and actually see results. Here's an Irish toast that was on all of the glasses when Randy and I worked at Bennigan's. Slainte! It means, to your health! Hit it Mr. Marley!
So I deleted my account on Monday this week. The reactions I received were very mixed to say the least. I was, however, pleasantly surprised by the number of people who texted, called, and/or emailed me to tell me how proud they were of me and how they plan on either cutting back or quitting themselves.
Wait, didn't I just quit a social media WEBSITE? Then why does it feel like it was cocaine or some other addictive drug? I mean, the comments I've heard sound eerily the same as those you would tell someone struggling with drug addiction. See above...."cutting back" or "quitting". INSANE!!!!!
It was easy to find several images such as this....that says something. Think about that for a minute.
You don't realize how much Facebook can suck the life from you until you eliminate it from your life. Now, let's take care of the big pink elephant in the room. Yes, I created another Facebook account.
Some of you are thinking...
Relax. I am a Senior Ambassador (recently promoted, what what!) for Plexus, Worldwide. Unfortunately, meetings and training are oftentimes held on Facebook on our team pages. I now have a team of my own, and Plexus asks that you create a Facebook team page where your ambassadors can come for resources and help. This is why I haven't accepted your friend request if you aren't a customer or ambassador of mine. Am I doing this to be rude? No! I simply do not want to see news feeds, pictures, etc that once drew me in for hours at a time. I'm on Facebook now as a business related need to know basis. It brought in a pretty little penny for our family this month and has increased from the month before each time. If you want to come to the Plexus side, I'm happy to add you. Plexus Kelli is my username. www.iheartmypinkdrink.com
See how I snuck that in there?
I also received a few messages of almost panic from friends and family stating that my profile was still active and that I "liked" something. When you delete your account, you receive an email that says that it will be deleted within 14 days. It doesn't disappear immediately. So that looked great for my valiant move I was trying to make. Let me tell ya. I love how some "friends" never clicked like or commented on anything I posted, but as soon as I say I'm leaving Facebook and I wasn't gone right away, they were the first ones to point it out. Wow. Just wow. ::shakes the haters off::
So what's it like without Facbook in my life? Quiet-er...in a great way. I used to think in Facebook. I would be cooking dinner and think "Cooking dinner for the fam. #yumtastic". Or sitting in church "Enjoying the sermon this morning. #PrestonTrail". I mean, really. It's a wonder I didn't burn the house down strolling through the news feed instead of paying attention to that dinner I was cooking. And was I REALLY enjoying the sermon if I was on Facebook in the middle of it? Was I really devoting my heart and mind to God as He so deserves? I think not. I could give countless more examples of how I used to "think" in Facebook. That's just sad. I still catch myself doing it, and I just laugh and go about my day. I feel like I see and hear more now. More of what's important in life...like my girls giggling together without me running to post about. I now sit with them and enjoy it. We have awesome dinner table conversations. That's how it should be.
Was it hard to kick the habit? A little. I do miss seeing posts from certain people that were uplifting. You know what that means? We have become lazy in our communication skills. What did we do before Facebook? We picked up a phone, sent a text, emailed, mailed a letter, or had some good face to face time. I went to have frozen yogurt this week with a dear friend and our kiddos. It was marvelous. The best part? I didn't pick up the phone while there. I didn't need to. Before I left Facebook I posted that I wanted everyone to email me all of their contact info so I could make a conscious effort to stay in touch. You know how many people actually did that? I can count them on one hand. ONE HAND! Yet, I had hundreds of "friends" on Facebook, or Fakebook as another dear friend referred to it.
Am I bashing everyone else for not leaving Facebook? ABSOLUTELY NOT! It was a problem for ME. Randy has an account and rarely gets on it. I know several people who have an account and aren't on it on a daily time consuming basis. To each his own. For me, it was poisoning my life. It was robbing me of my joy. Therefore, it is now gone. I'm happy to report that it is totally gone and no longer showing up as of today according to a friend.
I googled "quit Facebook". I have found so many fun little graphics and blogs that are just AMAZEBALLS! This is my favorite blog that I found of another person who deleted their account. I must find this person in real life and give them a warm hug, Olaf style. You can read it, here Why I Quit Facebook
Well, now that I put all of that out there, time to go get ready for my appointment with an endocrinologist. My thyroid lab results came back way wacky. Praying for some answers with this! I leave you with my beakup song to Facebook. Enjoy!
After much thought, and prayer, I have decided to leave Facebook. I have been on Facebook since I was in college when it was www.thefacebook.com and it was only open to those with a ".edu" email address...college students. You can imagine how something that has been in my life could quickly and easily become a major part of it...as much as I use email or my phone. Currently, it consumes way more of my time than I care to admit. Well, you can all SEE how much of my time I have let it take up as pretty much EVERYTHING gets posted that I do. That's embarrassing. No lie. I really think it's a bit of an addiction, really.
Facebook helped me stay in touch when I was working from home doing childcare and when I was in the hospital on bedrest with Logan. It was my connection to adult conversation. Ha! I now have a family and priorities that I have let fall to the wayside. More importantly, I have a relationship with God that is suffering because instead of spending any quiet time I have with God, I spend it on Facebook scrolling through a news feed of people who I haven't talked to in years or don't talk to very often. I find myself coveting what others have and do. I then doubt myself and just sort of spiral into a depression when I have SO MUCH to be thankful for. The people I truly care about will be there for me with or without Facebook in my life.
I know that to some of you this is stupid. It's hard to comprehend how a silly website can get someone addicted. Well, for me, it has done just that. I want more time with my family, friends, and God, most importantly. So feel free to laugh or poke fun. Just please know that this is important to me.
I will still check my email daily and my phone. Maybe I will create a new account one day, but until I learn to better prioritize, it's best that I delete my account. I ask for prayer...prayer that I will learn to focus more on God, my family, my friends, and my health without any unnecessary distraction. There's more to life, y'all! LOL!
So, to those of you who stay in touch with me for the most part of Facebook, PLEASE, stay in touch with me another way. My relationship with you is important.
Psalm 119:37, ESV Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways.
And he said to his disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest?
So as I'm pretty certain those of you reading this know, I was admitted to the hospital on January 6th. Test results from a one night stay at Baylor Frisco revealed that I had preeclampsia, and it was getting worse. I got a call that Monday telling me to get Kendall and go straight to Plano Presby where they have a high risk OB unit. I was panicked. I had been sitting in Logan's room organizing things in a nursery that was (is) nowhere near being ready for her arrival. I was bummed to just be on at-home modified bedrest. Little did I know what I had facing me.
Randy rushed home from work and drove Kendall and me to the hospital. They already had my room ready and told me to get comfortable. They said that test results showed that I was spilling vast amounts of protein in my urine and would need to do another 24 hour catch. Yep...you have to keep all of your urine in a jug on ice for 24 hours after which point they send it to a lab for further evaluation. I had hopes that once I completed the test, I would be given strict instructions to chill at home. Oh how wrong I was.
The next day, my labs came back showing all was well! Urine test looked good! That evening, a high risk OBGYN, Dr. Zink from Children's Legacy, came to do a sonogram. It was the coolest one we had seen because her equipment was so high tech. We saw Logan's gorgeous little pouty lips, wavy hair, and her with her foot literally in her mouth! It was incredible. She was bouncing all over the place. We were told that she looked awesome...except for the fact that at 34 weeks she was only measuring 4.3lbs. Dr. Zink said that due to her small size I would definitely be in the hospital for the remainder of the pregnancy. At that point she should've been at least a whole pound heavier.
Every day, I had labs drawn at 5am to check everything basically but with special attention paid to liver enzymes. This is a part of preeclampsia. Let's allow good ol' wiki to further explain...
Pre-eclampsia or preeclampsia is a medical condition characterized by high blood pressure and significant amounts of protein in the urine of a pregnant woman. If left untreated, it can develop into eclampsia, the life-threatening occurrence of seizures during pregnancy. There are many different causes for the condition. It appears likely that there are substances from the placenta that can causeendothelial dysfunction in the maternal blood vessels of susceptible women.[1] While blood pressure elevation is the most visible sign of the disease, it involves generalised damage to the maternal endothelium, kidneys, and liver, with the release of vasoconstrictivefactors being a consequence of the original damage. An outdated medical term for pre-eclampsia is toxemia of pregnancy, since it was thought that the condition was caused by toxins.[2]Pre-eclampsia may develop at any time after 20 weeks of gestation. Pre-eclampsia before 32 weeks is considered early onset, and is associated with increased morbidity. Its progress differs among patients; most cases are diagnosed before labor typically would begin. Pre-eclampsia may also occur up to six weeks after delivery. Apart from Caesarean section and induction of labor (and therefore delivery of the placenta), there is no known cure. It is the most common of the dangerous pregnancy complications; it may affect both the mother and fetus.[1]
My liver enzymes were dangerously high...so much so that my awesome doctor, Dr. Pepperell of Frisco OBGYN, told me that she thought I would not make it past the weekend before needing to induce or do a c-section. Ummm....no way. That weekend was Kendall's 3rd birthday. Wow. I was so not prepared to hear this. I became really depressed and anxious. After all, I now faced a baby that was premature, and I was stuck in a hospital room with only the "privileges" of going to the bathroom and a quick shower every other day. I couldn't walk the halls, visit the gift shops, nothing... and did I mention my view out the window was of another building? I couldn't see the sky, other people, traffic...anything. People who know me well were probably preparing to visit me in the psych ward. I don't do well with changes of this degree. I am a homebody who is perfectly content with just my family and my routine. Even long vacations make me twitch. I need structure...especially being ADD. Now, all of that was gone. My new structure would involve being in a bed for God only knew how long away from my family and all that was familiar. I cried every night knowing that I couldn't be there to tuck Kendall in and say prayers at bedtime. I couldn't curl up next to Randy while we watch TV before falling asleep in bed. I could go on and on about all of the little things that I now appreciate so much more than ever. It's easy to take things for granted. So very easy. I turned to prayer and the book, Jesus Calling, to give me peace and strength. I was and still am overwhelmed by the prayers that we received that poured in from Facebook, text messages, emails, deliveries, visits, phone calls....you name it. People that I haven't seen or spoken to in years came forward and gave so much. It made me take a good long look in the mirror at how I was not giving back as I should. My co-workers were unbelievable! There wasn't a day that passed that I didn't have my phone blowing up with texts, and my calendar full of them wanting to visit. They brought snacks, magazines, donuts for the nurses, gifts for Kendall, gifts for Logan, gift cards so that Randy wouldn't have to worry about cooking dinner, flowers to bring me cheer, cards.....it was unreal. I can't wait to start returning these gestures of such kindness and love. Randy and I have talked about how prayer truly impacted everything through all of this. We would post something on Facebook that we felt needed prayer, and lo and behold, our prayer warriors showed us God's power and grace and mercy. He kept me pregnant for so much longer than the doctors ever expected. He gave me peace and made the days go faster. He gave me the most amazing nurses and doctors through the whole ordeal. They became a little part of my family, and I seriously loved them all. Our God truly is an awesome God.
I can't forget to thank our family members as well. My mom basically moved in with us to help with Kendall during the week while Randy was at work. My house has never been more organized! Haha! She also made sure to work on Kendall's numbers and letters just as she would if she were in school. Randy's mom and my sister, Sandy, also took turns watching Kendall overnight to give her a change of scenery and to distract from the chaos. She had a blast the entire time. Everyone made sure that she was so loved on. Pretty sure the girl is sad that things are back to normal. Haha!!!! She was spoiled, but rightfully so.
Ok so let's fast forward...Dr. Pepperell told me that everything looked so so so good with my body. My bp was the only thing that kept acting up. However we both contributed a great deal of it to anxiety in addition to the preeclampsia. She set a goal induction date of January 30th. The countdown began. At that point, I would be 37 weeks along and Logan would probably not require a NICU stay. We did have a consult from Dr. Santiago with the NICU which told us what to expect with Logan if she was born before 37 weeks. The different outcomes were terrifying. We put it all in God's hands.
Every day, I had a test called an NST (non-stress test). Again, I'll let wiki explain...
A nonstress test (NST) is a screening test used in pregnancy. A cardiotocograph is used to monitor the fetal heart rate.[1]The premise of the NST is that a well-oxygenated, non-acidemicfetus will spontaneously have temporary increases in the fetal heart rate (FHR).[2]
Reactive (normal)- presence of two or more fetal heart rate accelerations within a 20-minute period, with or without fetal movement discernible by the woman.[3] Accelerations are defined as 15 bpm above baselines for at least 15 seconds if beyond 32 weeks gestation, or 10 bpm for at least 10 seconds if at or below 32 weeks.[4]
Nonreactive- presence of less than two fetal heart rate accelerations within a 20-minute period over a 40-minute testing period.[3]
Vibroacoustic stimulation can wake the fetus, and is sometimes used to speed up the test or to facilitate further evaluation of a nonreactive nonstress test.[5]
Every day the nurses would tell me how awesome Logan would do. Her test results were "textbook good". In fact she was so wiggly during most of them that they would have to use extra straps to keep the monitors in place on my belly. On Wednesday, the 22nd, one NST at night showed very little movement. The nurse looked concerned. She brought me juice and had me switch positions often. After an hour, her movements increased. The next day, Thursday, I didn't feel Logan much at all. My gut told me something was up. Sure enough, that night, they did an NST and there was no movement. Her heart rate would go from 180 to 30 in a matter of a minute. The nurses put in a call to the doctor. She said I would need to be monitored all night. I called Randy at Benihana where he was having a work dinner to tell him he needed to come stay with me. Thank God my mom was at home with Kendall. I didn't sleep a wink that night. Dr. Pepperell called Friday morning and said, "Let's have a baby". She gave me the option of a c-section or an induction to try for a vaginal delivery. I do not like making medical decisions...especially ones that involve my children. So I told her to tell me what to do...what would be the safest way to get her here? She said that an induction wouldn't hurt to try because they would give me an epidural right away before they pushed the pitocin. That way, if they needed to get me to an operating room for the section, it was ready to go. She did say I should prepare myself mentally for a very strong possibility of a c-section. I took a quick shower, and then had Randy lead us in a prayer.
7am we were wheeled down to L&D. The anesthesiologist came in and did my epidural. With Kendall I was in labor for 19.5 hours and felt NOTHING. This was totally different. They needed me to feel the pressure and they needed things to move much faster. I definitely felt it. Once pitocin began, I quickly began to dilate. This is exactly what we needed my body to do. Logan's heart rate just wouldn't stay consistent. It kept dipping to dangerous levels. The nurse checked me at about 3:15 and to her surprise, I was at a 6! At noon I was only at a 1. Within about 5-15 minutes later, I told her my pain was pretty intense and I felt like she was right there. She had already called to have an OR prepped for a c-section. To humor me, she checked me again. I had gone from a 6 to a 10. It was time to push, and I couldn't because Dr. P was performing a c-section down the hall. They called her and she was there within a matter of minutes. However, she thought she was walking in to see me ready for the OR. She took one look and said, "Holy cow, Kelli! You did it!!!! Time to push!" One push, and her head was out. I saw a look on her face that told me something was wrong. She said to the nurse, "cord wrapped once...cord wrapped twice...........cord wrapped three times." She looked at me, and I knew Logan was in trouble. I pushed once more with everything I had and she was here. That was it. She placed her on my belly for maybe 3 seconds. Then the NICU team of about 8 people rushed in. They took her over to the warmer. There was no sound. Randy had his back to me staring at her. I could see that she wasn't moving, and she was purple. It seemed like an eternity was going by, and the doctors were saying things that might as well have been in Chinese. I didn't understand anything. I was an emotional wreck as the doctor delivered my placenta. She kept telling me that Logan would be ok. The nurse loved on my like a mom. Randy was so still and so quiet.
8 minutes passed and she finally let out a squeak. It was the most wonderful sound. She reached up and tried to pull her c-pap mask off her face. They said she was now breathing on her own. I found out that they had intibated (sp?) her. She was not breathing on her own for those 8 minutes. They started lots of tests and got her warm. They then handed her to Randy. He turned around and was in tears. I've never seen that look on his face. It was fear and relief and love all in one. He handed her to me, and I held her so tight. She was the tiniest baby I had ever held. She was 4lbs 10 ounces and was 17in long. Her head fit in the palm of my hand with room to spare...and I have little hands. They said they would need to run some more tests to determine if she would need to go to the NICU. While all of that transpired, and I was cleaned up, the doctor told me that my placenta was in pieces. She gave me a medical term for it and then told me, "basically, Kelli, your placenta was crap." She said it wasn't nourishing Logan and that was what probably contributed to her small size.
What she said next shook me to my core.
"I have never seen the cord wrapped 3 times and the baby survived. God was definitely here today."
The NICU nurse told me she passed all of her tests and was even eating on her own and doing an awesome job. They said that preemies need help regulating their body temperature. So they took her clothes off and placed her skin to skin on my chest. I never had that opportunity with Kendall because she had to go to the NICU for a few hours because I was on magnesium with her and it made her have very low muscle tone...she was basically drunk.
This time with Logan is time that I will never forget. All of the nurses and doctor kept calling her tiny but mighty. Boy is she. She is so so so strong. She has an attitude when she wakes up in the middle of the night. We can't get enough of it. Bring it on lil Logan. Show the world what you're made of. You are a mighty child of God.
Thank you, Laura Harbron for making this!!!!!
Big sister is smitten. She can't get enough of Logan. She wants to sit by her and has to know where she is at all times. She is the BEST helper.
Update: Doc came by tonight and said all my labs are coming back consistently normal. My bp is a little high but not danger zone high...enough to warrant hospital bed rest high, however. All is going according to her plan, and so next Thursday (the 30th) will be Logan's birthday, God willing!!! Other than being strangely exhausted, I'm feeling good, and I really believe it's by the grace of God, Who hears all of your prayers, that I am in good spirits through all of this. I know I've said this a lot, but Randy and I can't thank those of you enough who have stepped up in so many ways to help, support, and encourage. I took a day off from visitors today just from being super tired, but all is well now. I can't wait until I am home with my family, and I can begin to give back all of this love that everyone has shown us. This all has been so eye opening. It has taught me so much like what a true friend looks like...loving others in need as Christ did...give give and give some more. That's what we're here for. I can't wait to change and grow that part of my life.
So much love to you all. Keep praying!!! We see Him at work.
If you're reading this, you probably follow me on Facebook and know that I am in the hospital. The big question, from everyone including Randy and me, has been, "For how much longer?" Up until today, we had no answer...just take it day by day. I was admitted due to some tests showing I have moderate preeclampsia. Thus began my stay at Hotel Presby Plano in the HROB (high risk ob) unit. This is where mamas come to be on hospital bedrest. Monitoring and testing is around the clock. You can get out of bed to pee and take a quick shower every couple days. Pree is not cut and dry. You can be fine one day and the next your organs such as kidneys and liver are shutting down. It's a crazy roller coaster. I had it with Kendall, but it was very sudden onset at 38 weeks with my organs taking a plunge. With me being that far along it was safe to just induce and get her out. It was rough. I had to be on a mag drip to help my kidneys and liver and it was AWFUL. They say it feels like having the flu...and that is a major understatement.
So...they caught the signs and lab results showing preeclampsia early this time. Let the bedrest begin. Fast forward to today. Labs have been great. Blood pressure has been beautiful. Randy and I have high hopes that I'll be coming home soon.
Enter the high risk perinatologist. Woo hoo! We get to have a super cool sono and see sweet Logan. First thing we see on the monitor is her face looking right at us. Tue doctor said, "Look at those gorgeous lips!!!! She looks like Angelina Jolie! Beautiful!" I am bursting with pride and excitement. Then she moves to a different view and Logan grabs her foot and starts sucking on her toes. Lolololol!!!!! Then she moons us. The doctor said she is so incredibly active. I told her she NEVER stops...ever!!! Doc says that's awesome and usually indicative of future personality. Kendall is so super chill. This should be really interesting.
Then she measures her head. She asks Randy and I to guess her weight at this point, 34 weeks today. Having done some research I guess 5.2 lbs. Randy guesses 5.3. She tells us she is actually very tiny for her age weighing 4.3. She is only in the 6th percentile. Due to that alone they have decided to keep me in the hospital until they induce me at 37 weeks. Surprise! That's 3 weeks from today. The crazy thing is that I scoffed when Randy guessed the date. Turns out he guessed the EXACT date...1/28/14. Never in my wildest did I think I would have 2 January babies. That's right... Kendall turns 3 this Saturday. Looks like we will be celebrating at Hotel Presby.
A lot to absorb right now. Sorry if I don't answer the phone right away or if ever. Sometimes it's hard. Gotta love those hormones. I'll always text as long as I have charged my phone and I'm awake. I'm just letting it all sink in. I've never had to be away from Kendall for more than a weekend much less 3 weeks. Little things like not being there to tuck her in and say prayers and sing songs make me sad. Things like that.
Please know that I know that we are so blessed. I am in excellent care, and Logan is little, but she's LOUD! They can't stop talking about how active she is. Healthy but just a petite lil thang that needs to grow but not for too long so mama stays safe too. We are in a period of adjustment, and this too shall pass. We are firm believers that this is all in God's plan, and He is with us every step.
I can't thank you enough for your thoughts, prayers, calls, visits, meals, snacks, texts, emails, hugs, jokes...etc. It is such a blessing to see people step up on their own without hesitating. We feel so loved, and boy does it teach me how to love more. Love stronger.
My mom and Randy will be caring for Kendall through all of this. In fact, my mom is going to stay at our house so that Kendall has her normal environment and toys and such. She is awesome for doing this. Please pray for them both. I can't thank them enough. Randy is such a rock. He was nicknamed Superman today by his Bible study group, and I cant think of a more accurate description. However he does stuff his emotions. So if you would all love on him, I would be forever grateful. He won't show it but I know he needs it.
As for me, I am using this time to love on my new baby girl and to reflect on being a better mom who is purely Christ focused. I do have 3 weeks on my hands. What a better time? Holy moly...only 3 more weeks. Wow.
So much love to you all who take the time to read this and cover us in prayer. That's all we truly need.
Jeremiah 29:11- "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
1) We please people
People pleasing is an idolatry: you are worshiping others...you are trying to find salvation by having others like you and accept you. People please is not benign behavior...it is malignant!
"For the appeal we make does not spring from error or impure motives, nor are we trying to trick you. On the contrary, we speak as men approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel. We are not trying to please men, but God, who tests our hearts. You know we never used flattery, nor did we put on a maskto cover up greed- God is our witness. We were not looking for praise from men, not from you or anyone else." (1 Thessalonians 2:3-6 NIV)
2) We control people
Controlling people is idolatry: we're idolizing ourselves...we are trying to find salvation by getting others to do what we want. Beware of FORCING your good ideas on others.
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. ...So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." (Matthew 7:7-8, 12)
3) We rescue people (I'm so guilty of this...though, I will say, not with my children) "Short tempered people must pay their own penalty. If you rescue them once, you will have to do it again." (Proverbs 19:19)
Rescuing is idolatry: we idolize ourselves as we play God in other's people's lives by saving them...you are trying to find salvation by having others depend on you.
YOU ARE NOT HELPING YOUR CHILDREN BY RESCUING THEM FROM CONSEQUENCES. YOU ARE ONLY HURTING THEM! (...kinda wish I could frame this in my classroom)
How to Love Wisely and Well
"Truth in love" (Ephesians 4:15 NIV)
"Grace and truth" (John 1:14 NIV)
"Kindness and truth" (Proverbs 3:3 NIV)
Love keeps promises
Love is transparent
Love sacrifices
Awesome awesome word from one of our pastors, Paul Basden. All of this blog comes straight from his sermon outline. I pray that it blesses your life as it has mine, and please know that I am here to pray for you and/or with you. The good Lord knows I need prayer also!
Here are the lyrics to a song sung at the end of service...beautiful!
Like You Love Me- Nathan Tasker
It's a dangerous thing to act as though you know
Everything about another person when you don't
But I am trying to change
'Cause I don't want to be that way
And it's a dangerous thing to tell everyone your view
Especially when you don't know the truth
I am trying to change
'Cause I don't want to be that way
And it's Your love that draws me
And it's Your love that calls me
To love, to live and learn how to forgive
Like You, love me
Like You love me
To love, to live and learn how to forgive
Like You, love me
Like You love me
And it's a harder thing to humbly bow the knee
Looking out for others not just me
But I am trying to change
Because I want to be that way
And it's Your love that draws me
And it's Your love that calls me
To love, to live and learn how to forgive
Like You, love me
Like You love me
To love, to live and learn how to forgive
Like You, love me
Like You love me
Spoken:
The one who's been forgiven much, will love much
Help me forgive others, like I have been forgiven
Help me to love others, like you love me
To love, to live and learn how to forgive
Like You, love me
Like You love me
To keep the peace and turn the other cheek
Like You, love me
Like You love me
To love, to live and learn how to forgive
Like You, love me
Like You love me
You gotta keep the peace and turn the other cheek
Like You, love me
Like You love me
Like You love me
Like You love me
Like You love me
You can read it, here 
